New Phone

Rocking the new phone. It’s amazing. It has speakers. No, not normal tinny tawdry tiny twangy things, these are amazing, I use that word a lot, let’s try awesome, fabulous, no not fabulous. Fabulous is a word used for a posh fashion show. The best way to describe my new phone, is loud, and built to annoy the buggery out of my hubble. I suppose if Black Sabbath, or some obscure 70’s punk band was blasting out then the phone would be cool. Because, being down with the kids, for fluffs sake, they call him, Dude! Who calls their dad Dude? I’ll shut up there. Its my pet hate. If I was down with the little monsters (the eldest is 30 odd) the phone would be cool.

No, I’m blasting out some Pentatonix. Head over to YouTube if you’ve never heard of them, they are, yep, you guessed it, they are amazing. So I’m sitting in bed, writing and rocking to my favourite band. With my new phone. There’s a reason I’ve gone into so much detail, and that is the on going saga of me, the hubble, and technology. As many of you know Mark does strange and wondrous things with super computers, which means everything has to be plugged in and constantly updated.

I’ve just come home from the back of beyond. My home town doesn’t even have mains gas, and the electric goes down if it rains. Wi-Fi, don’t make me laugh. As for music, they’re still getting to grips with Lonnie Donegan. So getting a new phone is a big thing. I supposed I still have the mentality of, if it ain’t broken don’t fix it, and if it is broken, fix it with what you’ve got before you pay out. So getting a new phone has been a real struggle for me. I’ve had the same phone for many years, and it’s a darn good phone, but it had lousy speakers, so playing music wasn’t its forte. Did I say this one has amazing speakers, yes, I think I mentioned it. Anywho, the phone, I’m proud to say I am one of the remaining people that owns a Samson, and likes it. I tried a new Hewoooie thingy phone, couldn’t even pronounce it, let alone use it, it broke within three weeks and was retired to a draw, eventually finding its way to a student in Germany, but that’s another story.

We have looked, Mark has researched and thunk about it. He doesn’t think about things. Thinking is a process whereby a topic enters your brain and you go through the options and the process of analysing the topic. Oh no, Mark thunks, he gets a topic in his mind, dissects it, breaks it down into compartments, explores each individual part and then reassembles it, in a way that only his brain could possibly understand. I think that’s why he’s good at his job. So he thunk. Me I went into a shop, and went, “oohh, that’s pretty, I’ll have one of those.”

You could see the panic in his eyes, the sweat running down his brow, the steam building up, ready to explode. That’s not the way to do it, oh no, you have to research and compare. I just went home and looked online, where could I get it the cheapest? Done.

Mark went on a thunk trip. GB things, check, Wi-Fi things check, whatdayacallits, check. But after all the thunking, the only thing wrong was the glass front. I mean honestly where does he go to get such petty details. Sorry that’s minute interesting relevant information. In the end the phone got the Mark seal of approval, so I bought it. However the one thing Mark hadn’t checked was how loud it was. It’s ama….. sorry I won’t say it again.

I’ve got speakers, but he’s in the bathroom and I like to hear my music, so I’m rocking out to Pentatonix, and he hates it.

As for my old phone, you know the Samson, with the scratches, the inadequate operating system, outdated technological bits, the one that it was time I got rid of because it wasn’t worth keeping any more. Shhh Marks using it, he smashed his, and did I hear him tell someone that it was amazingly fast and pretty cool?

Feeling redeemed.

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