My story

That bomb went off pretty quick. You sit down in front of the telly, the studios emblem blazes across the screen and the first scene gives you some idea as to how the rest of the film is going to pan out, but real life isn’t a film. Where have you heard that before. Then there is the old saying, you write your own story. But when someone drops a bomb on you, figuratively speaking, you need a little bit more notice than “hi Jen, I’m going to Africa to look after Rhino’s.”

I love her, she is almost as mentally challenged, I don’t say crazy, as I am, but she just decided to up sticks, don her fokee (that’s the scarf women roll up on their heads to balance the water jars on) and wander off into the sunset. So there I am still reeling because I’m banned from flying at the moment and the one thing I would have loved to have done was go with her.

As she explored the safari, I watered down the green meanie and getting through the envy I grabbed a photo she had sent in a message. I do that type of thing, I see a picture on FB and I grab it. I like to paint. I paint landscapes, seascapes, trees and things. Living things are a different matter. For a start they move, I mean how are you supposed to paint something that is never the same from one second to the next. A tree moves I know, but not on its own, but with wind power. Then it goes back again, that is unless it falls over of course or gets struck by lightning. But animals and bodies they have a mind all of their own which makes them really difficult to paint pictures of. Not to be deterred I painted Rhinos.

My friend was awesome, she fed crocodiles and lions, had her ear nibbled by an elephant, herded rhinos, and learnt how to carry water on her head. I can’t wait to see what see does next.

I’ve recovered honestly. I know she told me several months before she went, but I was so excited for her that I couldn’t help going “yippee” every time I thought about it. I’ve done a few exciting things in my time, jumped off buildings and been arrested, swum with killer whales but I’ve grown up, got past my adventurous streak. I’m on the long road to being normal. It’s not easy, but there comes a time.

Hats off to my wonderfully audacious friend. But where does that leave me. Oh come on, this is my blog, of course I’m going to talk about me and steal her thunder. I’m going to talk about bomb shells. Those unexpected things that happen to us out of the blue. I like my films. I like watching the little boy fishing from his seat in the moon, I like the camera rolling over hills before taking me to a cute little cottage. I like the music as the window opens and a beautiful young woman leans out and begins singing. What I don’t like is sitting down to watch a film and seeing blood splatter over the scene before a head rolls towards the audience. I don’t like surprises.

The thing about 2019 so far is, there have been one or two things that have taken me by surprise. Deaths, I don’t mean to be morbid but there have been two so far and we are only 20 days in. I have had hospital things, dentist things and things that have broken. All I need now is something to go bump in the night and my life would be complete.

But the biggest surprise I’ve had is Mark taking me out. I think he felt a bit sorry for me. I’m the adventurous one. (Must put some red in my life to muddy up the green, if I regain some passion I might lose a bit of the jealousy) Don’t get me wrong, I don’t begrudge anybody anything. I am the first one to stand up and shout, “look at her she’s awesome”.

I have another friend, yes, I have more than one, he has written a book, shh it’s actually bloody good and as soon as it’s published I’m going to do everything I can to promote it. I think he is amazing. To have written a whole book. Not dribs and drabs, not a poem or two, but a whole story. Do I wish I had done so, of course I do? I have lots of half written rubbish on my laptop. Will I ever write a whole story, I don’t know.

Mark has the best job on Earth, I can’t tell you what he does apart from the fact that he fiddles with computermebobs, but he loves it. He is, it turns out quite a clever little bugger. Ok not so little at six foot four. Am I jealous? Hell yes. Would I be happy if I found a job that I enjoyed that much? Der, stupid question.

But wow what a surprise he gave me yesterday. Let’s set the scene. It is my film after all. We sorted out our holiday this year a few weeks ago, and being an organised type of gal, no not at all demanding, I told Mark he was going to surprise me on the 19th January. (I sat down to wait for the studios fanfare to start) You could see the sheer panic creep across his face. Having seen and heard my rhetoric about how jealous I was because my friend has been to African and nannied Rhinos and played Ferengi with Elephants. (Ferengi being a race of beings from a far-off planet introduced to us by Star Trek, who have an erogenous zone located in their earlobes. Thinking about it I hope that’s where the similarity ended as Ferengi women aren’t allowed to wear clothing.)

The credits rolled as he said he had found the perfect day out. He told me to grab a sketch book and bring a pencil. We set off first thing in the morning at midday. Never to be rushed our Mark. The hour-long journey was too much for me. As I said I don’t like surprises. I asked and he told me. We were going to an Art Gallery. The cottage window was opened and I was the young woman who stood there singing. Or rather sounding like a crow that was sliding down a blackboard scratching with all eight claws. I did my best.

We arrived at the The Lady Lever Art Gallery and the excitement mounted, this was a love story. I sketched a picture from the Quentin Blake collection, a sketch of the café we had lunch in and a sketch of the Statue of Salambo by Maurice Ferrary. It was the best biggest bomb shell so far, a big fizzy love bomb. We left as the end credits scrolled on.

I might not have been to Africa, I might never write the book. But I know I can write my own story. A painting of two quirky looking Rhinos for the intrepid explorer, arrived at my friends on Friday. I read the book written by my other friend, whilst he edits the first draft, and I am the luckiest woman on this earth, to have a husband that took me on an adventure all of our very own. I loved spending the time with my husband, seeing all the awesome art and antiques and being able to take the time and draw things that don’t move. So much easier.

I‘m writing my own story, but I’m always ready for the next bomb shell.

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