Self Care or Murder

What can be said in this time that hasn’t already been said? What can you do other than follow all the advice that is out there. I have to admit though I’ve seen some rather odd haz-med suits on FB, but I’m still not walking around in a dinosaur costume. It seems that there is a lighter side to the pandemic we are facing. There are also lots of tips and ideas on how to take care of yourself and things to do if you are in isolation.

I for one have been in isolation since 2017, mine has been a self-isolation caused by agoraphobia. Sod’s law then that just as I begin to break the cycle of agoraphobia and anxiety, the planet goes into lock down. So today I’m going to talk about things you can do to kill the boredom.

1. The first thing I have to say is, please don’t murder the husband nor the children, it may seem like a good idea but living with a rotting corpse for 12 weeks because no one will enter your house isn’t a good thing. For combatting the family and caring for yourself at the same time I suggest you learn to meditate or start listening to some of the online guided meditations out there. Personally, I like Andrew Johnson. I can put my ear phones in at any time and the husband stays away. If he doesn’t I just unplug the ear phones, one syllable of that golden Scottish voice and my husband legs it. Andrew is the man that talks to me in my bed at night. He gives me a lift in the morning and if life gets too much I disappear to the safe room and just listen to his power nap.
2. Sing, for the love of everything in this World sing. I do, and I’m known to get jiggy with it as well. I belong the Rock Choir and they have been my rock this week. Watch the Mama video it’s brilliant. Watch the Italians and the Spanish. Not sure how we will do the Oakey Dokey and Knees up Mother Brown in Isolation as a collective, but we are British we will find a way.
3. Clear out the bathroom and the top draw of the dresser. Face masks, serums, fluffy bath balls, haematoid cream, no I’ll throw that. ‘Ang on, is there a shortage, I think I’ll sell it on eBay. Only been used twice, in the same sitting. I found a clay mask and spent a luxurious 5 minutes waiting for it to dry, stopped Mark from coming too close, social distancing (must remember to apply when walking the dog, however I must admit the dog ran away when she saw me).
4. Get creative. Always wanted to learn wood work. Ikea have it sussed. Whilst in isolation they have put out a tweet and destructions on how to build a growroom. The innovation that they created in 2016. Great idea, if you could find someone to deliver the supplies. Asked what I had stocked up on when this began, I had to admit that I had ordered extra printing paper and titanium white oil paint. I can now write that novel I keep promising to write and paint some more pics. Although I must admit to using the printer paper to draw on and there is an oil painting I need to finish.
5. Puzzles. Yep I have a jigsaw puzzle, supplied by my wonderful husband Mark. It’s of fluffy kittens and sweets. A) I have a dog, but kittens are amazing. B) I’m supposed to be on a diet. C) Mark is working from home and I have to fight to get on the table in the living room.
• Note to myself, if I cleared my office I would have room to hide Mark, dead or alive, or isolate myself completely.

Self-care is a strange thing. It’s a self-centred, self-affirming, self-worth get to know yourself and what makes you feel better type of thing. Before the dreaded brain collapse of 2017 my self-care involved, going out riding motorbikes, indoor skydiving, travelling around the country, hiking, horse riding and solo spa visits. (and there are too many hithenated words in that sentence) My self-care now involves not going for more than two days without a shower, keeping track of what I eat because it’s important to lose this weight, talking to at least one person every day and making sure I leave the house once a week at least. I had just started to go shopping, instead of ordering on line.

6. Reading. I am still having an affair with Julius Cesar and I’m also getting through a book called Creative Curiosity and I’m tackling The Hobbit.
• Note to self. Have to somehow return Library Books. Looks like the dinosaur costume may be coming out after all, either that or I’ll have to squeeze into bike leathers.

Just some suggestions, I don’t have time to be isolated and anxious and agoraphobic.

7. Housework. Ok I know it may seem strange but it looks like there may be a conspiracy after all. I may have to do it, because if I don’t and I do have to get someone in to remove Marks corpse the least I can say is I tried to clear up the blood stains.

It’s Spring. People clean in the Spring, well some people do. It’s the Sun you see, the Sun sort of shines off things and reveals the winters layer of dust. In my case three years of dust. My brother has the best idea he just doesn’t open the curtains. People are panic buying, one woman had a trolley full of cleaning products, not sure why, I believe she had a heads up about the kids being off school, I know that her two will be getting a A+ in domestic science when they go back. So, the prices of stuff goes up, sorry demand and supply always wins.

I, on the other hand have what I have and will do what I have time for, after all this self-care lark is exhausting stuff. So, the housework might have to wait a while. At least until my back has straightened up, oh didn’t I say? Whilst Mark is working from home he needed a new computer chair, I sort of collapsed our last one, hence diet! On Thursday I spent two hours huffing and puffing trying to assemble this five levered, back, forth, up, down, tilt, straighten, lift and separate chair. I am now unable to move my lower back. Sod the virus, I’m suffering back ache and deserve to be cared for.

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