The Normality of being Human

Maybe I’m just not right in the head.

Who said that?

I heard the, “You’re right you’re not,” comment. But who amongst us can say we are. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, NORMAL is boring. We are in lockdown, I know that, but I am afforded the luxury of getting out and about every day, if I want to. You see as a volunteer I used to go out to see vulnerable people. On Thursday I answered the call and started again. I don’t have to and I’m not a hero. I’m not an isolation case, I’m not vulnerable. I answered the call because no one else would.

What do I do? I used to help people fill out forms and make sure they had the correct benefits and stuff. What have I done in the last couple of days? I’ve delivered food. I have supplied a basic human need. Not by the act of delivery, not by being anything other than being normal.

It’s the normality of being human.

I have a neighbour on my left, who is the most miserable cantankerous old grump in the World. He can’t go to the pub every day so as you can imagine he isn’t dealing with things that well at the moment. He refuses to acknowledge our existence, but even I reached out and told him to bang on the wall if he needed help. It was met with a grumble and indignant shuffle off down the garden. No less than I expected. To be honest if he ever spoke to me, I don’t know how I would respond after I’d picked myself up off the deck.

So I’m out and about. Well that’s a bloody laugh for a start. “LOCKDOWN” Marks working from home and the dog crosses her legs until I get back, she refuses to go in the yard, unless it’s absolutely necessary. We might have toilet roll, for the moment at least, but pooch likes to go on the soft grass. What can I say I have a posh dog? Yesterday we had a Bank Holiday. It was, wasn’t it, it must have been. The Government said we are allowed to go outside to exercise once a day, well just saying it was a mistake. They were all out, every bloody one of them. We have a hole in the ground that has at some point filled up with rain water and only occasionally dries up. They call it the lake, it’s a pond in the middle of a field. I saw five people coming out of the field all together and trust me that lot don’t live in the same house, and I saw three going in. What social distancing. I’ll stop there, you get the picture.

I, me, myself and the other little git that sits inside my head and nags me, have come up with the perfect solution to social distancing. No, I haven’t resorted to laying Mark on a plank of wood with wheels and taking him everywhere, at 6ft odd as long as everyone stays at the “Marked” distance I’m OK. I have learnt to run and sing. I kid you not it works and after this I have decided to keep it up.

I’ll give you an example. I visited our Chris yesterday on the way home. Chris is a Leap year baby and as such needs to celebrate four birthdays on one day, so this year I did what any normal person would do. I rang him four times and I sung Happy Birthday to him every time, in every tune you can imagine. Try it, Happy Birthday fits really well to “I wish you a Merry Christmas.” I rang yesterday and asked him to open the door or window and I would speak to him from his front gate, which he did. He had a stroke last year so doesn’t get out much now. It was a lovely conversation and it seems the local shop keeper will be retiring soon as Chris is living off bacon butties and loving it. I offered him Liver and Onions. For a second or two I wasn’t sure if I needed to call an Ambulance as his face showed so much pain and anguish it scared the beejeebers out of me. (Turns out he doesn’t like Liver)

On parting I told him that I must say goodbye in my…. Before I was finished he closed the door. Opening his window a tad, he shouted, don’t sing, please don’t sing. It was an emotional response and it took me a while to realise why he reacted in the way he did. I think I have overwhelmed him with my melodious voice. You see not everyone can sound like a crow practicing scales on a black board with their claws.

I love to sing and understanding Chris’ emotional response proves that I can overwhelm and drive away anyone with the crack of a note. I have social distancing sorted.

I must say that no Marks have been harmed during this period, in any social distancing experiment and that Chris is on the mend.

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