“We were supposed to be getting married today.” He told us. “The missus is really upset.”
“Just think of the money you’ve saved.” Mark replied. I could have kicked his walking stick from him. I mean what a thing to say, you could see the man was devasted.
We continued the conversation and before saying goodbye he told us that he was off to Marks and Spencer’s to buy a special meal for him and his fiancée as a way of making the day a bit better for her. You could see the sorrow in his eyes, the downturn of his shoulders and the unkempt look said it all, he was suffering. This was meant to be their special day, not just hers. “I’m walking the dog so that she can have a lay in this morning.”
“Enjoy your posh meal,” I jested.
“Well it’s only this once and it all fills you up just the same, rather have beans on toast meself.” He said as he turned and slumped off. I didn’t believe him. Having to wait in a two-hour queue was not what he had planned on his wedding day, but I bet he would rather do that than let his “missus,” down.
You see this episode, has changed a lot of things. At least it has for me. My cupboards are stacked, my fridge is full, my freezer is loaded to the brim. I want for nothing, except knickers. It seems there is a shortage. And there are also limits on when I can get them. Something that we all take for granted, and I can’t get them.
I blame Slimming World. I’m losing my fat gal image and soon won’t be able to be excused from exercise because I’m not “built that way.”
Standing in the middle of the field today in my purple welly boots doing a Martial Art called Wing Chun, Ok trying to do my first form of Sil Lim Tao, I realised that the knickers I had on were doing a really good Yoga session all of their own. Downward facing knickers may not be a recognised Martial Arts or Yoga move but it was certainly a very expressive one.
I hitched the offending article up one more time, deciding that I would be buying new ones online as soon as I got home. I dived into the website of my usual knicker supplier. Excited to be clicking on the (I’m not telling you lot) lower size of underwear.
WE ARE NO LONGER TAKING ORDERS TODAY, PLEASE TRY AGAIN TOMORROW.
I tried another site, alas my style of undercrackers wasn’t available. I tried another, found the undies, but not in my size. I thought about the man who’s wedding had been cancelled and how he was coping with the queue to get a special meal and suddenly felt really silly getting so upset about knickers. We’ve done pretty well compared to most during this time. I haven’t had to queue that often for anything and although I have not been able to get everything I want, I have always had enough of what I need. Until now.
I hadn’t realised how far this lockdown had gone and how many changes there will be in the future. I don’t know if people have been panic buying knickers. I do know that I’m going to be the first online at 7am tomorrow morning to get a multipack. It never crossed my mind that there are no factories open to make things. That there are only so many stock rooms with items left. That there are no hotels taking guests! But that’s another story. That it’s not just Britain on lockdown and that I can’t be the only one who’s knickers are getting a bit fragile. I’ve thrown out two pairs of jeans this week. I managed, and please don’t ask me how, to split one pair right up the seam of the back. Must be all that knicker shuffling I’ve had to do. Another pair have taken on a rather yukky stain of some sort. I indulged in a bit of Lockdown clearing. I did ten minutes and decided that was enough, however in that short period of time I managed to spill something uncleanable on the front of the right leg of my jeans. Now I have to add jeans to the 7am list. But what size? I’m ready to wear a lower sized knicker, I’m not sure I’m ready for a lower sized pair of jeans. And all the time all I keep thinking about is the man who was supposed to be getting married today.
Roger calls it First World problems, I call it inconvenient. The man and his fiancée would call it a disaster.
I’m not sure when it will be over, when I will be in knickers that don’t deserve a Yoga YouTube channel all of their own, nor when the couple will be able to get married, what I do know is it will be the happiest day of mine and their life. I wish them all the best in the future but all I want is a pair of knickers that fit.
Strange how everyone views happiness differently, don’t you think.